LABARAI MASU CAKWAKIYA

B shakz

CAKWAL-KWALIN CAKWAKIYA

1- IDAN KAI NE ZAKA AURETA? 

wani saurayi da budurwa ne, wanda suke tsanin son juna, tsawon shekaru

suna tare, har sai da takai ga sun

fara samun sa6ani, sabida rashin

income.

shi dai saurayin bai da

kwakwkwarar sana'ar yi, gashi kuma

soyayyarsu na bukatar tallafin kudi,

domin ya aureta.

ita kuma a gefe guda a gidansu an takurata, da magana akan lallai sai ta fito da mijin aure, har sai da hakan ta sanya saurayin ya fara tunanin yanke

shawarar hakura da ita.

watarana sai ta sameshi, tace dashi ta samu aiki, amma ta sanya sunan sa ba nata ba.

ai kuwa bayan lokaci kankani ya fara

aikin data sama masa, sanadin haka

ya samu kudi sosai, har takai ga ya

siyi gida, gami da motar hawa,

sannan har an sanya musu ranar aure

da ita. 

Kwatsam!!! watarana ya rage saura sati 2 a daura musu aure da ita, suna cikin tsaka da hira, sai yake cewa da ita "nifa na kagu a daura aurena dake".

 

fadinhaka keda wuya, sai yaji ta fashe da matsanaicin kuka, nan take ya matsa mata da tambayar jin ba'asin kukan nata, budar bakinta sai sai tace dashi "kayi hakuri amma sai bayan dana sai da mutunci na sannan na samu damar sama maka aikin da kake yi a halin yanxu" 

to shin idan kaine yaya

zakayi zaka fasa aurenta ko kuwa

a'a?

Idan kaine ya zaka y?????

2- IDAN KAI NE ZAKA CI GABA DA ZAMA DA ITA??

Wani mutum ne suna zaune shida matar sa, kawai sai ga yan fashi nan sun shigo, cikin gidan, suka kwantar dasu, suka ce "ina kudi"?

Sai mijin yace "wlh ba kudi"

Sai suka ce yau zaka rasa matar ka kuwa, sai suka bashi bindiga suka ce ya harbi matar  tasa,  sai ya fashe da kuka, yace shi bazai iya kashe matar sa da hannun sa ba.

Sai dai su kashe shi, amma bazai iya ba.

sai suka karbe bindigar daga hannun sa, suka baiwa matar tasa, suka ce "ke harbe shi".

Nan take ta karba, kawai tai kansa tana harbawa, sai taji ba bullet a ciki.

Sai yan fashin suka karbi bindiga, suka yi tafiyar su.

Idan kaine ya zaka yi??????

..

2- IDAN KAI NE YAZAKAYI

A misali Kai ne kaje gidan yayan ka hutu, bayan kayi sati daya, sai kacewa yayan ka zaka koma gida.

Sai yayan ka ya ware dubu hamsin 50k, da niyar zai baka idan katashi tapiya.

 

    Ana cikin haka sai Dan yayanka yaje yadauke dubu hamsin 50k din, ya fito daga dakin babansa, sai ka ganshi, saboda kar ka tonamasa asiri, sai yabaka dubu biyar 5k, yace kayi shiru, sai kaikuma ka rufamar asiri, baka fadawa yayanka ba.

 

 Sai washegari kaje zaka yiwa yayan ka sallama, sai kaji yana masifa yana cewa ya ajiyemaka dubu hamsin 50k,kuma gashi an dauke su.

  

   Toh idan kaine yazakayi  ?

3-IDAN KAI NE MIJIN YA ZAKAYI???

Kaine kuka hadu da wata a facebook, kuna charting, har kuka shaku da juna.

ana nan wata rana, ku kasa ranar haduwa, to matsalar baka san kowa a garin ba, kana isa sai kace mata ku hadu a Hotel.

Tace "To"

Kana isowa sai ka fada mata sunan hotel din, Ai kuwa Ko minti 15 ba'a yi ba sai gata.

Tana bude kofa, sai kaga ashe matar kace!!!

Itama taga ashe mijinta ne!!!.

Kuma dama bada asalin SIM dinta take waya ba.

4- IDAN KAI NE ALHAJI YA ZAKAYI.....?

Wani Alhaji ne, yana tafiya a cikin mota, ya dawo daga wajen aiki, kuma dare yayi.

yana cikin tafiya, sai ya hango wani mutum, a gefen hanya, harya iso wajen da mutumin yake.

Sai mutumin yace "Alhaji ragemin hanya, zuwa cikin gari"

Sai Alhaji ya bude masa yashigo, can suna tafiya, sai Alhaji yaga kofato akafar mutumin.

Kawai Alhaji sai ya tsorata, yana so ya yiwa mutumin wayo, sai ya kashe motar yace fita ka turo, idan ta tashi sai ka shigo.

mutumi ya fita, sai ya turo, kawai Alhaji sai ya mata key ya gudu.

Yayi tafiya takai kilo metre 50km, sai wnn mutumin ya leko ta window yace "Alhaji har yanxu bata tashiba ne!!!!!!

idan kai ne ya zakayi?

4- IDAN KAINE YAZAKAYI?🤓

Wani mutum ne ya hada lambar waya ya kira, kuma sai yayi sa’a ta shiga.

 da aka dauka, sai yaji muryar da bai taba jin irinta ba tana cewa: "domin ajiye gawa danna 1, domin kar6ar gawa danna 2, domin cika maka gida da gawawwaki danna 3, idan kuma kanaso ka zama gawa to yanke kiran.

Wai in kai ne ko ke ce ya zakiyi?

5- IDAN KAI NE UBAN BUDURWAR WAN NE HUKUNCI ZAKA YANKE

 IN KE CE BUDURWAR YA ZAKI YI     

Wani saurayi ne yaje fira, sai ruwa yatare shi agidan su budurwarsa.

yaijira sosai akaƙki ɗauke ruwan, har dare yaja sosai, sai mahaifin yarinyar yace "kai shi ɗaki ɗaya a cikin ɗakunan gidan domin ya kwana"

To daman basu da nisa da gidan su,baifi layi uku ba, a tsakani.

kawai baba ya fito, domin duba ko ya kwanta, sai bai gan shi ba, yana juyowa sai ya ganshi da abu a hannu,yace ina ka kaje? kuma wannan mene a hannun ka?

Ashe gida yaje, domin ya dauko bargo, wai saboda sanyi.

kujifa!!!

6-IDAN KAI NE DRIVER YA ZAKA YI

wata tsohuwa ce suna tafiya amota,

saitace da direba dan allah idan anxo kaduna kaimin magana.

 sai tsohuwa tai bacci bata farka ba,saida, akaje lagos sai tace "direba an zo kadunan", 

sai yace "ai mun wuce yanzu muna lagos" 

sai fasinjan motar sukai caa!! akan direba, wai bai kyautaba saboda tagaya mai sai.

direba yajuyo suka dawo kaduna, sai tsohuwa ta zuge jakarta ta ballo magani tasha, tace "alahamdulillahi direba acigaba da tafiya, dama dana ne yace idan anzo kaduna nasha magani"

idan kaine direban yazakayi

7- IDAN KAINE YA ZAKA YI?

Ace dan sanda ya tsayar da,  kai akan hanya, kana tafiya, ya shiga motarka ya tambayeka takardun motar ka nuna masa, ya duba ya gani yace ma "sunyi expired"

.....

ka dinga rokonsa akan yayi hakuri yau zaka sabunta, ya ki ya hakura, sai da ya bata maka wajen awanni 2hr, sai yace sai ka bashi 3000.

Akan dole ka bashi kudin, ba dan kana so ba.

...

bayan ka tafi ka hau titi, cikin fushi sabi da karbar ma kudi da bata lokaci, da dan sandan nan yayi maka.

kawai sai kaji waya tana ringing, dubawar da zakayi, sai kaga waya ce kirar "IPHONE 7".

koda ka daga kiran, ashe dan sandan nan yake kira, sai kaji yana cewa "oga kayi hakuri!! lokacin dana shiga motarka na zauna, shine na manta wayar, nine dan sandan nan daya kama ka, plz kayi hakuri!!! ka dawo min da ita, dubu dari da hamsi na siya"

....

shin idan kai ne me zaka ce masa?

kuma wanne yanayi zaka nuna?

shin zaka dawo masa da ita,ko a'a?

8- IDAN KAI NE YA ZAKAYI????

Wasu mata da miji ne sukayi fada,suka ce ba zasu sake magana da juna ba.

to kuma mijin yana so yayi wa matar tasa magana, akan ta tashe shi da wuri yayi sahur, kuma basa magana, sai ya rubuta a paper, yache "gobe ki tasheni karfe hudu"

 ya ajiye, a inda zata gani, da ta gani ta karanta, karfe hudu nayi, sai ita ta rubuta a paper, tace "ka tashi karfe hudu yayi".

Ta ajiye masa a gefen sa, yana tashi, sai yaji liman yana a daidai ta sahu, an shiga sallah, kawai sai yaga paper a gefensa, anche "ka tashi karfe hudu yayi"

9- IDAN KAI NE YA ZAKAYI???

Wani saurayi ne suka samu sabani da budurwar sa, tace kar ya sake zuwa gidan su.

Bayan wasu yan kwanaki sai yayi shawaran, cewa bari dai yaje hira wajenta yau, ko ta huce.

kafin ya isa sai ya tsaya akan hanya, ya sayi Gasasshen kaza, aka daura masa a Leda.

da ya isa gidan, sai ya aika yaro cikin gidan, yace ana sallama da ita.

yaro yaje ya fito yace tana zuwa, da fitowarta sai taga ashe wannan saurayin ta ne da suka batane.

sai tace masa "ba nace kar ka kara zuwa gidanmuba"? 

Saurayin yace "haba wance! ke Abu baya wucewa a wajenki ne?  rayuwannan sai ana hakuri da juna, Gashi har na sayo miki gasasshen kaza a hanya".

Ya mika mata, sai ta fizge ledar kazar ta jefar a wani kwandon zuba shara, dake gefensu tace "kazar banza kazar Wofi? me zanyi da wata kazarka, ka bace mun da gani, idan kuma ka sake zuwa zan yi ma rashin mutunci.

dama yana zaunene akan wani benci,kunya ta kamashi, don baiyi tsammani zatayi mishi hakaba, ya tashi cikin bacin rai da mamaki, ya tafi.

bayan ya danyi nisa kadan, sai ya tuna ya manta da makullin kofar dakinsa, a kan bencin da ya zauna.

sai ya koma da sauri, yana isa kuwa sai ya samu budurwannan tasa ta dauko gasasshen kazar nan, ta zauna tana ta ci.

suka hada ido da ita, ga sauran naman a bakinta tana tattaunawa.

Idan Kaine saurayinnan yaya zakayi da budurwar nan taka? 

idan kuma kece misali saurayinn an naki ya sameki a haka yaya zakiyi?

10- IDAN KAI NE YA ZAKAYI???

Watana 9 kacal da fara Facebook, sai wata kyakykyawar yarinya ta aikomin da friend request.

 nan da nan na amsa, muka fara soyayya, duk da bamu taba ganin juna ba, Amma mun shaku sosai, har ta kai ina aika mata da kudi da katin waya, a matsayin ladan qawance (special gift).

muna cikin haka, wata rana, sai ta fada min garin da zamu hadu da ita, wato Adamawa, da shiga gidana, sai na shaidawa matata cewar, "mai gidan mu ya turani wani aiki a Adamawa, saboda haka zan tafi aiki Adamawa, na tsawon kwana biyu",.

haka muka rabu, na cigaba da yan shirye-shirye na, har ranar da Zubaidat ta sanya mana na haduwa tazo, tun kafin karin kumallo na hada kayana, da nufin tafiya zuwa Adamawa, don mu hadu da budurwata ta Facebook.

bayan mun kammala breakfast, na lissafa kudin cefane, dana kashewa, na tsawon kwana uku, harda doriya na Mika ma matata, ta sanya hannu takarba tana godiya.

 karbar kudin keda wuya, na shiga daki na sanya sababbin kayan dana dinka sabo da tafiyata, ta kuma dauko min turarurruka, kala daban-daban tafeffesheni da su, jikina yakama kanshi medadi, nan take na dakko jakata, da kyautittikan dana tanadarma budurwata, sai da tarakoni kofar gida, sai mukayi sallama ta juya zata koma gida.

 har na bude kofar motata zan shiga sai ta kirani alamar tanada magana, haka dai najuyo da kyar na dawo wurin ta, sai tai min rada a kunnena tace;

"Haba! My honey kar ka wahalda kanka nice Zubaidat dinka ta Adamawa fa, Nan take naji jiri yana neman daukana

Don Allah idan kaine yazakayi ?

11- IDAN KAI NE YA ZAKAYI

WANI ANGONE DA AMARYAR SA.

wani sabon angone da sabuwar amaryar sa, sunyi aure amman basu dade ba.

Ana haka rannan sai amarya ta shiga wanka, sai angon yalallaba ya kwashe mata kayanta, data gama taduba bataga kayan taba sai tace shine ya debe, sai tashiga ta sameshi yana mata dariya.

ana haka ranan nan sai shima yashiga wanka, sai ta zagaya ta debe masa kayansa, daya gama baigan suba, sai yayi murmushi yace uhmm tarama kenan. 

sai yakama hanya da nufin shiga dakin gadan gadan, ashe lokacin data koma tayi baki 'yanuwanta, harda mamanta, yana zuwa gadangadan sai sukai ido hudu, da su 

IDAN KAINE YAZAKA YI???